Întrebare mistuitoare

Apropo de festivitatea de închidere a jocurilor olimpice: există chinezoaice blonde? Demonstraţi cu poze, vă rog.

Dog’s Diary vs. Cat’s Diary

The Dog’s Diary

8:00 am – Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm – Milk bones! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm – Dinner! My favourite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Copyright Shann Comeaux

The Cat’s Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…..

Sint mai multe versiuni astfel incit va las sa cautati singuri pe Web. Eu o stiu de la Fil (care nu are inca blog).

Corecteaza hotnogul cit ii cald

Patronu’, copchilu-su sau unul dintre numerosii 5 angajati ai firmei prestigioase Hotdog Invest care, printre altele, ne pune la dispozitie “produse de calitate ca telefoane mobile”, s-a apucat sa imi capreasca ancestralitatea pe blog, intr-un comentariu de om destept care stie a scrie in romaneasca. Si asa imi explica el cum statea treaba prin stepele Ucrainei cu stra-strabunicii mei care impungeau turme, in timp ce ai lui scriau romane si pictau de zor.

Toate frumoase pina cind ‘telectualu’ nostru isi da arama pe fata, pentru ca asa stie el din familie ca te impui in Romania, atunci cind nu te burtesti pe strada – injurind pe bloguri sub protectia anonimatului:

Cand stra-stra bunicul lui Hotnog  era stapani in aceasta parte de Europa stra-stra bunicul tau era un rob care pastea caprele prin stepele Ucraine si sa inperecheat…

sau

Cum ai fi vrut sa se cheme firma JURNALISTUL LUI PESTE PRAJITS.R.L. sau M-A FACUT MAMA TEMBEL SI M-A IAU DE OAMENI DEGEABA S.R.L.

Imi mai lasa si un post scriptum (adica aia inseamna p.s. cititorule de meniuri de telefoane mobile):

P.S.Ai grija cum intrebuintezi limba s-a nu o scapi intr-un fund de roman.

Si uite asa a ajuns urmasul lui Ştefan Hotnog, un chiabur cu burta umflată din Ion al lui Rebreanu, ca amicul a uitat sa mentioneze si acest mic detaliu, sa dea lectii acelora ce se leaga de numele dat sc-ului familial cu sudoarea subratului.

Vezi-ti de limbile tale de la ceas, ca s-a facut tirziu pina ai pus cap la cap 3 fraze. Am vazut ca ai stors google-ul dupa crimpeie istorice, dar la romaneasca ramii corijent, sa stii.

Ce dracu, vrei sa strici blogul asta plin de emotivitate cu sereleul tau cald?

Am imbatrinit ba, dar frumos… (II)

Florent Pagny – Caruso
(C) 1998 Mercury (France)
Universal Music Division Mercury

Am imbatrinit ba, dar frumos…

Tina Arena & Florent Pagny
Caruso

Qui dove il mare luccica
e tira forte il vento
sulla vecchia terrazza
davanti al golfo di Surriento
un uomo abbraccia una ragazza
dopo che aveva pianto
poi si schiarisce la voce
e ricomincia il canto

Te vojo bene assai
ma tanto tanto bene sai
e’ una catena ormai
che scioglie il sangue dint’e vene sai

Vide le luci in mezzo al mare
penso alle notti la in America
ma erano solo le lampare
e la bianca scia di un’elica
senti il dolore nella musica
e si alzo dal pianoforte
ma quando vide uscire
la luna da una nuvola
gli sembro piu dolce anche la morte
guardo negli occhi la ragazza
quegli occhi verdi come il mare
poi all’improvviso usci una lacrima
e lui credette di affogare

Potenza della lirica
dove ogni dramma e un falso
che con un po’di trucco e con la mimica
puoi diventare un altro
ma due occhi che ti quardano
cosi vicini e veri
ti fan scordare le parole
confondono i pensierei
cos diventa tutto piccolo
anche le notti la in America
ti volti e vedi la tua vita
dietro la scia di un’elica
ma si, e la vita che finisce
e non ce penso poi tanto
anzi, si sentiva gia felice
e ricomincio il suo canto

Te vojo bene assai
ma tanto tanto bene sai
e una catena ormai
che scioglie il sangue dint’e vene sai

Traducere: http://www.lyrics007.com